When it’s time to wake up in the morning, I will let you know by
throwing my body against your bed until you wake up.
If this does not work, I will yawn really loud and yowl in your face.
If the above does not work (I see you ignoring me), I will jump on
you and start nipping any available body part I find (I am not biting
you, my teeth are my hands).
Oh? You’re awake? Now I MUST go out and relieve myself (I expect my
breakfast to be ready when I’m done).
If my breakfast is not ready when I’m done relieving myself - I will
sit, blow saliva bubbles out of my cheeks, and groan while you prepare
my breakfast.
I know the rules, and I really do try not to jump on you as you carry
my dish from the counter to my feeding station. I know the drill -sit,
stay,
and wait for the "okay" (all the while staring at my food with excited
anticipation).
Once the "okay" is given, I will dive into my dish (food will spill
out, but that’s okay, I’ll get that later when I inspect and re-inspect
my eating station about a hundred times to make sure there is no morsel
unfound).
I’m EXHAUSTED, now a soft spot to nap is in order while you do your
human thing of getting ready for work (you will give me a treat before
you leave or I will find things or ways to get back at you).
When you come home from work and I hear your car pull up, I will jump
on the picture window and make lots of noise so you know I’m here and
it’s dinner time.
When you walk in the door, I will head butt you, and race back and
forth to the back door (in case you missed it, I must pee). This is the
only time I will go out, besides the morning, without being coaxed, and
I expect my dinner to be ready when I come back in (see rule no#5).
If I don’t get one of the extra special treats , (chewiest) ,because I
didn’t earn it and my canine sibling did, no problem- I will just steal
it from her and run around doing a little victory dance before I am
caught and reprimanded.
When you are eating dinner and I’m told to "go lie down"- I’ve found
a loophole to this rule-I will lie at your feet and look imploringly at
your plate as you eat, I’m not being bad, just doing as I was told.
My sibling and I may ignore each other, and don’t play together-
ever- but if there is a new dog on the block-don't mess with my sister
or you’ll have me to contend with. (surprised the hell out of me).
I practice obedience ONLY if it involves food (food is a powerful
motivator).
I may have a paper fetish, but so do you, otherwise there wouldn’t be
so much of it lying around.
I lick and lick my leg out of boredom, until it bleeds, and act put
out when you wrap it up and tell me "no"- but I give you kisses while
you do it- because it means you care about me.
I love little kids, they are very gentle and leave their mark- sticky
marshmallows, jelly, and peanut butter. Barely tall enough to look me in
the eye, they hug my head and kiss me.
Little ones and I, we are of the same species, I’m tall and big, but
a puppy at heart.
Where’s my chair?
I am a greyhound, and I refuse to have a battle of the wits with an
unarmed person.
